Minneapolis Adventures

This morning I decided to make a stop at Al's Breakfast before going to campus to cram for and take my statistics quiz. I arrived to find that all the seats were full, but I was first in line so I didn't anticipate a long wait.

A middle aged man walked in and began talking to the younger guys seated in front of me about the menu. Despite being behind me in line, he asked the server if he could order right away, with them.

That was when the smell arrested my nostrils. His cologne was overwhelmingly bad. I wouldn't quite describe it as acidic, exactly, but I did have to resist a strong urge to check him for visible chemical burns. At any rate, I am fairly certain that the fumes would wilt flowers.

The server seemed hesitant to let him cut in front of me, but I was glad to let him take the seat that opened up right next to his party. I could still smell him, but at least it was now farther from where I was standing. I pulled out my phone and began the following conversation with my roommate via text:


Me: "The guy standing next to me in line at Al's Breakfast has marinated in the worst cologne EVER. Heinous! Really, why would he think that's okay?"

TheDesigner: "What does it smell like?"

Me: "Strong, musky ASS."

TheDesigner: "Oh, the musky ass smell. The scent of ignorant desperation."


At this point, the server found me a seat at the opposite end of the bar.

Server: "I'm really sorry about the seating."

Me: "It's fine. That guy had the worst cologne ever! I had an ulterior motive - I couldn't wait for him to sit down."

Server: "HAHAHA, good move."

Later...
Server: "I went down to his end of the bar. You were totally right about his cologne."


So the moral of the story is, if you're out in public and someone seems more than happy to let you go ahead of them in line, ask a brutally honest friend about your cologne. You might be wearing Musky Ass.