Monday, September 19, 2005 

Memo at Jimmy John's: "Do not deliver sandwiches to this address..."

While intoxicated the other night, I was suddenly hit with an intense craving for a tuna fish sandwich. IrishTenor thought this was a good idea. He tossed his cell phone at me and told me to order a couple of subs from Jimmy John's. The following conversation ensued, and I can only say that I now feel terribly sorry for the guy answering the phone that night.

Me [on the phone]: "Do you have a tuna?"
Guy: "Yes we do."
Me: "Okay, I'll take two."
IrishTenor: "Get two number fourteens!"
Me [on the phone]: "Do you have a number fourteen?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "What is it?"
Guy: "Roast beef and turkey."
Me [to IrishTenor]: "Number fourteen is roast beef and turkey. It is not tuna!"
IrishTenor: "It is too!"
Me: "The guy just said it wasn't!"
IrishTenor: "Well there's a tuna sandwich and a tuna sub."
Me: "I want a tuna sandwich. [on the phone] Do you have a tuna sandwich?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "Okay, that's what we're looking for. I want two."
IrishTenor: "I just ran downstairs and looked at the menu. The tuna sandwich is number FIFTEEN! I was off by one!"
Me [on the phone]: "Is number fifteen a tuna sandwich?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "Okay, I want two."

Monday, September 12, 2005 

The Unfortunate Tale of Arbusto and the Eel

On Saturday night, a group of people went out for dinner at a Korean restaurant to (belatedly) celebrate my twenty-fifth birthday. Arbusto had never experienced Korean food and was interested in trying something new. Like the rest of us, he was perusing the menu and feeling more than a bit lost. I missed this part, but apparently IrishTenor told him, "Try the eel. It's good."

Now. Arbusto is such a straightforward, trusting person that it would simply not have occurred to him that IrishTenor might not have actually eaten eel, and it definitely did not occur to him to call bullshit. I was conversing with the other half of the table, so I didn't hear the exchange and was not on hand to call bullshit. So Arbusto ordered the eel.

Once the eel had arrived in its teriyaki glory, it was somehow discovered that IrishTenor had in fact never consumed eel. He had merely been speaking with great authority, which translated into apparent plausibility. Predictably, Arbusto did not care for eel. Since he did not eat his eel, the rest of us all had the opportunity to taste it. I can say that it isn't terrible, but it is very very fishy and was not my favorite; I do not like fishy things. I would not recommend eel unless you have a special affinity for fishy-tasting things.

Arbusto was a good sport and said at least he had tried something new. I vowed to have a little talk with IrishTenor concerning the topics of my friends, eels, and the truth...however, I actually thought it was pretty funny and probably will content myself with laughing and with buying Arbusto dinner next time to make up for the experience of eel.