Minneapolis Adventures

My last statistics lab concerned covariance structures. All one needs to know is that there are approximately a metric buttload from which to choose for your data and that some of the most common are abbreviated RE, ARH(1), CS, RE + AR(1), and UN.

The other night, while Zach was "helping" me with my assignment, TheViolinist and IrishTenor were trying to make sense of the lab questions in all of their jargon-filled glory.

TheViolinist (reading from the question sheet): "Consider the UN model - "

IrishTenor: "Just blame it on Iran!"

The above picture is Zach interfering with my efforts to finish my statistics lab, which is due by 4:30 today. My course notes, SAS output, and lab assignment were spread all over IrishTenor's living room floor in organized piles, since IrishTenor and TheViolinist were playing a video game. Zach sat and watched me work for a good ten or fifteen minutes before deciding that he could not let me have all the fun. After all, it would be completely unfair of me to play with so many piles of paper and a pen and not let him join me. And everyone knows that cats and statistics go together like ice cream and cake.

The result? One very wrinkled lab assignment; one very satisfied kitty:

*I promise, reading this won't make your head hurt.

Today in class, my statistics professor opened up the Help menu in SAS, the statistical software we use to do assignments. Help topics for the various analytical procedures were listed in a frame on the left side of the window.

Nestled in the list along with the MIXED procedure, the CORR procedure, and the REG procedure (among others) was the INBREED procedure. Imagine teaching a course on SAS programming and having this on the list of course topics: "Okay, class, now that we've learned how to generate a correlation using SAS, let's talk about how to INBREED."

While watching the basketball game last night, IrishTenor, his new roommate TheViolinist, and I were wondering about the origin and significance of the day during Holy Week designated as "Maundy Thursday." Because at heart all of us are nerds and because we were drinking, this was a matter of great importance.

TheViolinist and I both felt that as the offspring of men of the cloth, we should know this. IrishTenor's friend and co-worker, TheBanker, did not see the connection.

TheViolinist: "We're PKs. Our dads are pastors."

TheBanker (pauses, blinks, and stares): "Did you just say your dads are bastards?"