Memo at Jimmy John's: "Do not deliver sandwiches to this address..."
While intoxicated the other night, I was suddenly hit with an intense craving for a tuna fish sandwich. IrishTenor thought this was a good idea. He tossed his cell phone at me and told me to order a couple of subs from Jimmy John's. The following conversation ensued, and I can only say that I now feel terribly sorry for the guy answering the phone that night.
Me [on the phone]: "Do you have a tuna?"
Guy: "Yes we do."
Me: "Okay, I'll take two."
IrishTenor: "Get two number fourteens!"
Me [on the phone]: "Do you have a number fourteen?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "What is it?"
Guy: "Roast beef and turkey."
Me [to IrishTenor]: "Number fourteen is roast beef and turkey. It is not tuna!"
IrishTenor: "It is too!"
Me: "The guy just said it wasn't!"
IrishTenor: "Well there's a tuna sandwich and a tuna sub."
Me: "I want a tuna sandwich. [on the phone] Do you have a tuna sandwich?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "Okay, that's what we're looking for. I want two."
IrishTenor: "I just ran downstairs and looked at the menu. The tuna sandwich is number FIFTEEN! I was off by one!"
Me [on the phone]: "Is number fifteen a tuna sandwich?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "Okay, I want two."
Me [on the phone]: "Do you have a tuna?"
Guy: "Yes we do."
Me: "Okay, I'll take two."
IrishTenor: "Get two number fourteens!"
Me [on the phone]: "Do you have a number fourteen?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "What is it?"
Guy: "Roast beef and turkey."
Me [to IrishTenor]: "Number fourteen is roast beef and turkey. It is not tuna!"
IrishTenor: "It is too!"
Me: "The guy just said it wasn't!"
IrishTenor: "Well there's a tuna sandwich and a tuna sub."
Me: "I want a tuna sandwich. [on the phone] Do you have a tuna sandwich?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "Okay, that's what we're looking for. I want two."
IrishTenor: "I just ran downstairs and looked at the menu. The tuna sandwich is number FIFTEEN! I was off by one!"
Me [on the phone]: "Is number fifteen a tuna sandwich?"
Guy: "Yes."
Me: "Okay, I want two."
And now you see why I banned you from drunk dialing me.
Posted by Arbusto | 12:39 PM, September 19, 2005
Yes...now I see.
Posted by SouthernCanadian | 1:14 PM, September 19, 2005
Oh my god, you can totally drunk dial me though...that shit is hysterical.
Posted by Monalicious | 6:23 PM, September 19, 2005
Not when you're sound asleep at the AMs of the morning when the call comes.
Posted by Arbusto | 7:44 PM, September 19, 2005
Wait you owe me a drunk dial now. But only if you're ordering from Milio's.
Posted by Angelina | 11:29 PM, September 19, 2005
Lol, good stuff... ever gotten drunk and ended up in another state? I have.... :-o
Posted by juliachaos | 11:08 AM, September 20, 2005
Mona and Nina: I'm actually not normally quite this entertaining when under the influence. I'm told I tend to ramble. Anyway, after Arbusto said no more drunk dials, I gradually stopped calling (most) people while drunk.
Arbusto: It was midnight or 12:30 the time you finally banned me from drunk dialing. Not 3 am, lest you give these people the wrong impression. However, some people have been lucky enough that I bestowed upon them a 3 am, incoherent phone call.
Genevieve: Now THAT is classic.
Liz: No, I have not done so personally, but I bet there's a good story behind that one...
Posted by SouthernCanadian | 1:48 PM, September 20, 2005
what's even worse is that it wasn't always you who called. It was always your phone but not always you.
Posted by Arbusto | 2:02 PM, September 20, 2005
Have you ever tried to STOP someone from drunk dialing someone else? It's incredibly hard, especially when they're bigger than you. I had to drive home two of my very, very drunk friends one night with my ex. I had to put them to bed, and one of them went willingly. But the other! She kept trying to call all these people, and even managed to have one of them come over somehow when I wasn't watching. Darn slippery drunks.
Posted by hufflepuffer | 1:32 PM, September 28, 2005