The least fun I have ever had.
Tonight was easily the most disgusting experience of my life. I think I am going to have my cat completely shaved so this is not a recurring event.
11:40 - I am sitting at my computer, about to start work on a paper, when Maya comes running out of the bathroom and wipes her hindquarters on the floor, leaving a long streak behind her. She runs into the kitchen.
11:41 - I am at a loss. I can only stare in wonder and disgust while debating whether to clean the cat or the carpet first.
11:42 - I decide on the cat. I follow her into the kitchen and grab her and some paper towels. I begin disentangling feces from hair. Her objections are loud and adamant.
11:47 - The cat ducks into a corner and refuses to budge. I find the carpet cleaner and spray a liberal coat over the streak before returning to the cat.
11:49 - I cannot seem to clean any more fecal matter from Maya's rear end using wet paper towels. The smell is overpowering. She continues to voice her displeasure.
11:50 - I retrieve a pair of scissors.
11:53 - The cat is struggling, rendering the scissors largely ineffective. I pick her up and deposit her in the bathroom.
11:56 - I spray another coat of carpet cleaner over the streak.
11:58 - I return to the cat, who flees the bathroom the second I open the door. I have to lure her back with kitty treats.
12:00 - I am in the bathroom with the cat. She sits and glares at me. I am not sure what to do next.
12:02 - I fill the bathtub with a couple of inches of water. I can see Maya's eyes get wide as I pick her up and set her in the tub.
12:03 - Maya jumps out of the tub and sprays water everywhere.
12:06 - I am on my knees on the bathroom floor, once again trying to swab her clean with wet paper towels. She kicks and struggles and mews loudly.
12:10 - I have managed to cut off some of the mess. I pick it up with toilet paper and flush it. The cat sits and glares at me.
12:12 - I go back to swabbing her rear end. She kicks at my legs. I try to speak soothingly, which is a challenge when her claws are embedded in my thigh.
12:15 - I let her have a break. She glares. I speak softly and try to pet her. She lunges at my hand.
12:19 - I am unhappy. I am having very little success with further cleaning.
12:22 - We take another break. Maya looks at least as unhappy as I am.
12:27 - The cat has given up struggling. I manage to remove most of the grossest clumps.
12:30 - The cat and I have had enough trauma. I clean up the floor and then scrub my hands while singing the entirety of "International You Day" by No Use For A Name, to make sure I am somewhat sanitized.
12:35 - I open the bathroom door. The cat stalks out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. She sits and stares pointedly at the refrigerator (where she knows her treats are).
12:36 - I decide she deserves a treat. She eats it and then takes a swipe at me with her claws before going and lying down by the radiator.
12:37 - I watch her turn to clean herself, take a whiff, and change her mind.
12:40 - She is still sitting in the kitchen, glaring at me with death in her eyes. I apply another coat of carpet cleaner.
12:42 - I am still trying to clean the carpet. I notice that the cat has fallen asleep.
12:45 - I finish the carpet. The cat is still sleeping. I think I might hate her.
11:40 - I am sitting at my computer, about to start work on a paper, when Maya comes running out of the bathroom and wipes her hindquarters on the floor, leaving a long streak behind her. She runs into the kitchen.
11:41 - I am at a loss. I can only stare in wonder and disgust while debating whether to clean the cat or the carpet first.
11:42 - I decide on the cat. I follow her into the kitchen and grab her and some paper towels. I begin disentangling feces from hair. Her objections are loud and adamant.
11:47 - The cat ducks into a corner and refuses to budge. I find the carpet cleaner and spray a liberal coat over the streak before returning to the cat.
11:49 - I cannot seem to clean any more fecal matter from Maya's rear end using wet paper towels. The smell is overpowering. She continues to voice her displeasure.
11:50 - I retrieve a pair of scissors.
11:53 - The cat is struggling, rendering the scissors largely ineffective. I pick her up and deposit her in the bathroom.
11:56 - I spray another coat of carpet cleaner over the streak.
11:58 - I return to the cat, who flees the bathroom the second I open the door. I have to lure her back with kitty treats.
12:00 - I am in the bathroom with the cat. She sits and glares at me. I am not sure what to do next.
12:02 - I fill the bathtub with a couple of inches of water. I can see Maya's eyes get wide as I pick her up and set her in the tub.
12:03 - Maya jumps out of the tub and sprays water everywhere.
12:06 - I am on my knees on the bathroom floor, once again trying to swab her clean with wet paper towels. She kicks and struggles and mews loudly.
12:10 - I have managed to cut off some of the mess. I pick it up with toilet paper and flush it. The cat sits and glares at me.
12:12 - I go back to swabbing her rear end. She kicks at my legs. I try to speak soothingly, which is a challenge when her claws are embedded in my thigh.
12:15 - I let her have a break. She glares. I speak softly and try to pet her. She lunges at my hand.
12:19 - I am unhappy. I am having very little success with further cleaning.
12:22 - We take another break. Maya looks at least as unhappy as I am.
12:27 - The cat has given up struggling. I manage to remove most of the grossest clumps.
12:30 - The cat and I have had enough trauma. I clean up the floor and then scrub my hands while singing the entirety of "International You Day" by No Use For A Name, to make sure I am somewhat sanitized.
12:35 - I open the bathroom door. The cat stalks out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. She sits and stares pointedly at the refrigerator (where she knows her treats are).
12:36 - I decide she deserves a treat. She eats it and then takes a swipe at me with her claws before going and lying down by the radiator.
12:37 - I watch her turn to clean herself, take a whiff, and change her mind.
12:40 - She is still sitting in the kitchen, glaring at me with death in her eyes. I apply another coat of carpet cleaner.
12:42 - I am still trying to clean the carpet. I notice that the cat has fallen asleep.
12:45 - I finish the carpet. The cat is still sleeping. I think I might hate her.
