Minneapolis Adventures

I will be flying to Chicago tomorrow for work and will be there all week. According to the Transportation Security Administration, I will not be permitted to bring my tiny little tube of lip balm on the plane. At least I can console myself with the fact that I may feel free to put my toy transformer robots in my carry-on.

I've started riding the bus to campus every Thursday. In theory this should happen both Tuesdays and Thursdays, but Tuesday has become errand day.

But I digress. Last Thursday, a man with a truly incredible unibrow boarded the bus on Lyndale Ave. I was fascinated. I could not help staring - this unibrow was a marvel: thick, dark, and archless.

I would have given anything for a wax strip right about then. How satisfying it would have been to slap that strip right in the center of his unibrow as I exited the bus, thus ridding him of his unibrow for three to four weeks.

It would be the salon/spa equivalent of the drive-by.

If Arbusto had been the announcer at the Packers/Bears game this Sunday, we would have been treated to this informative, unbiased account of the game:


“Run….oh, not there! Ouch.”

“That’s an ugly tie.”

“Crush Favre! Crush his spirit! No, that’s not crushing his spirit, that’s crushing the receiver. Okay, you don’t have to crush his spirit, just break his ankle…YES! HE FELL DOWN!”

“Yay, we threw it to the right guy that time!”

“Whoo! I can make that noise, too, Mr. Commentator. Whoo!”

“Yes! Run there! That was not an ouch!”

“My team’s not listening to me…”

“YES! That’s crushing Favre! Right there!…Oh, I almost peed.”

“YEAH! NO GOD DAMN IT…narf.”